Is something trying your soul?
“These are the times that try men’s souls.”
~ Thomas Paine — December 23, 1776.
You knew I had to write something patriotic this week. I thought this quote from Thomas Paine might strike home.
July 4th was the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. And no matter what side of the American Revolution people were on, the words of Thomas Paine rang incredibly true. The war for independence, along with the years that followed, tried men’s and women’s souls in ways that are difficult to appreciate today.
I found the words of Thomas Paine on my mind this past weekend—not only for the 250th birthday of the United States—but also for me and my wife, Kristi.
Ten years ago (July 3, 2016), Kristi and I completed a three-day, 1773 mile drive from our longtime home in Phoenix, Arizona, to our new home in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin.
We arrived in a 20-foot U-Haul Truck with all of our earthly belongings neatly packed inside. Our hearts were filled with gratitude for the people and places of our past, as well as for the new journey to come.
Kristi and I have always adopted a “bloom where you are planted” philosophy during our years of marriage. That meant adopting the people, teams, and culture of wherever we lived.
After eight years in Minnesota, five in Washington, and twelve in Arizona, the time had come to bloom in Wisconsin.
Little did we know that, alongside the blooming, there would be changes and challenges that would truly try our souls.
Just one year after our move, Kristi was diagnosed with stage two, triple-negative breast cancer. The diagnosis was followed by a dizzying number of doctors’ appointments. Then chemo, surgery, and radiation.
Not quite four years after Kristi’s diagnosis, she would watch me turn blue on our kitchen floor while our daughter’s new boyfriend—and then Wauwatosa paramedics—performed CPR.
Today, Kristi is a breast cancer survivor.
And I’m a choking, cardiac arrest, CPR, and PTSD survivor. (The PTSD part is still a work in progress.)
We all have complicated stories and times in our lives that have tried our souls. And this might be a season of surprises, disappointments, heartbreak, overwhelm, or loss for you, a friend, or a loved one.
If that’s the case, I want to share a few words of encouragement.
You are not alone.
It would have been easy for Kristi and me to isolate ourselves during these seasons. And the truth is—I did just that for a very long time. But we both found the incredible blessing of support and encouragement from people who had been through their own soul-trying seasons. All were incredible blessings and gifts from God.
People are waiting and wanting to encourage you, support you, and walk by your side. That includes me. Give them the opportunity to pour their prayers, lessons, and love into you.
There is always hope.
My Christian faith is the core and foundation of who I am. I wrote about that in Practice number 6 in my book LIVE AGAIN! The practice is called Find Your Foundation. It’s a remarkable thing to know that God loves me—not because of who I am—but because of who He is. And that love is bigger than I could ever imagine.
There are so many sources of encouragement in the Bible for soul-trying seasons. Here are words I found especially encouraging during my recovery.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. ~ Psalm 34:18
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~ Psalm 73:26
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you ~ 1 Peter 5:7
Learn to see change, challenge, anxiety, fear, pain, and loss as an opportunity to grow.
Post-traumatic growth (PTG) is the idea that people can transform and grow as a result of trauma, tragedy, and adversity. Over time, the idea of post-traumatic growth changed my story and had a profound impact on what I believed about my recovery.
It can for you, too.
Use your circumstances to be a blessing to others.
It’s entirely possible that you’re going through your current challenges—all so that you can be an encouragement to others. Don’t discount the possibility that you are the answer to someone else’s prayers. That includes lessons you’ve learned from your struggle. Helping and supporting the people around you isn’t just good for them—it’s medicine for you, too.
God bless you, my friend, as you bloom where you are planted, as you choose to use seasons of challenge as an opportunity to grow, and as you make a difference in the lives of the people around you.
I’m grateful for you—and I’m cheering for you every step of the way.
With gratitude,
John Alan
P.S. Here are some additional handy links to use and share.
Purchase a copy of LIVE AGAIN! on Amazon (Be sure to leave a rating or review!)
Just in case you missed it, I was the guest of Kelly Parbs on her company’s podcast: On Topic with Empathia. Here are the links:
Part 1
Part 2
